Partnerships must be equal. One cannot constantly be giving everything while the other gives nothing in return. When you want a person to be your significant other it feels like they’re your whole world. However, after you’re in the thick of the relationship it can be burdensome work or feel like you’re being absorbed into their life and they don’t seem to reciprocate.

How does one keep their individuality while still maintaining a close bond with someone else?

Maybe your partner isn’t paying attention to you or you feel loved sometimes and inadequate other times. Psychologically you learn to associate feelings of neglect with feelings of love or confuse adoration with attachment. This can lead to serious lapses of judgment if you’re focused on your boyfriend or girlfriend and their acceptance of you.

Remember that confidence and acceptance are two things that only you can truly give yourself. If you wait for them, you will become so absorbed in the other person that you will turn into a shell of your once-vibrant self. If you are always making concessions in your schedule to fit them in, it shows that they don’t value or respect you or your time. When you are distracted by thoughts of the other person you become disinterested in your own life, this is a strong warning that something might be wrong in the relationship.

Some of our most basic needs are food, shelter and water but we also need love, compassion and acceptance in order to thrive. If your partner only worries about themselves and doesn’t contact you until they want something from you, then you should start talking it through or leave the relationship.

It is all too easy to lose sight of yourself when another person appears as bright as the sun but is actually a black hole sucking in all the best parts of you and leaving only empty matter behind.

Article by staff writer Roma Watkins.