Due to the sensitive nature of the experience the staff writer has chosen to remain anonymous.
It was an average school day as I walked to the newsroom when I saw a man standing in front of the door to the newsroom. He approached me and asked for my name, and thinking it was an innocent interaction, I told him. It didn’t take me long to realize that something was off.
Little did I know that that initially harmless interaction would quickly build into a nightmare that stretched on not only on that day but into the entirety of my semester. I was robbed of a place I should feel safe in, and when I reported it to Palomar through the proper channels, I was met with nothing but excuses.
I truly hope that sharing my story will make Palomar take situations like mine more seriously and prevent any other students from feeling helpless and unheard in a place of learning that should be safe.
For confidentiality reasons, I will not be writing his name, but instead using the alias John Smith. Smith began to ask personal questions about my interests, where I attended high school, and when I graduated. Right off the bat, I had a gut feeling to not tell him any of the correct answers. I answered him, but all my answers were lies.
Smith then asked me where my class was located. Since he was right in front of the class, I ended up telling him I was going to the newsroom.
When class started Smith entered the newsroom and asked what time was over, I did not tell him the truth when class ended.
Then, Smith asked where my next class was. Since he was standing right in front of the door, my only option was to tell the truth.
As class started, Smith followed me into the newsroom and asked when class was over. I lied again. I then spent the rest of the class watching Smith as he paced back and forth in front of the newsroom and our computer lab. I tried to hide behind the computers or ignore him, but he was very persistent.
A week after my first interaction with Smith, I saw him waiting in the doorway. I quickly diverted and walked the opposite way, trying to hide from him. Over ten minutes passed before he finally left the newsroom, and I rushed in quickly, feeling a mix of negative emotions.
When class started, the adviser told me Smith was waiting for me. She reasonably assumed he was someone waiting for an interview. When I told her the situation, she asked if I wanted to report it. I was hopeful that was the end of it, and I would like to wait. My hopes were quickly proven wrong.
Over the next month, Smith continued to wait outside the newsroom and try to get information about me from my advisor as well as other students. My advisor pulled me into her office and asked how I wanted to proceed with the situation. I told her I wanted to file a report.
I filed a Title IX report on Friday, the day we went on spring break; however, I didn’t hear back until Monday, when we came back from spring break.
Palomar College requires students to do a Title IX training, but what good does it do when a victim is left without any answers? Title IX exists for situations like this.
That Thursday, Smith came into class and saw me. I didn’t know what to do, so I called Mercedes Lopez, Palomar’s Title IX Coordinator. She instructed me to call the Palomar College Police Department, as Smith was not yet supposed to be on campus that day.
By the time campus police arrived, Smith had left. Two officers asked me to go into the computer lab to tell them my side of the story. After I was done, they told me they knew exactly who he was and I wasn’t the first to file a report. They told me he’s probably trying to make friends, but isn’t doing a good job at it due to his behavioral condition. I felt unheard and invalidated.
When Smith returned, the officers spoke with Smith and said he claimed he had no idea what was happening.
After Smith was removed from the class, the officers told me they didn’t think he was a danger to me, but to himself. On top of the invalidation and anxiety I was already feeling, I now felt guilty. I worried that he would do something harmful to himself because of this situation, and that would be my fault.
About a week later, Mercedes Lopez, Title IX Coordinator, called me saying that they legally couldn’t remove Smith from campus because of his disability. She also added that his one-on-one aide should always be with him, except for his lunch breaks.
I was shocked because I had never seen him with an aide. This also meant that Palomar couldn’t offer me complete protection from someone stalking me.
Lopez told me that it had been made very clear to Smith that he was not to approach me. If he did, I was instructed to call campus police to have him removed or shout “Stop, you’re making me uncomfortable.” I wasn’t given a real solution. I began dreading going to class because I didn’t want Smith to approach me again.
Palomar closed this investigation, but it feels as if the case went cold because there was no true solution.
Though Palomar closed the investigation, it felt more like abandonment than resolution. Palomar claims that they want every student on campus to feel safe and welcome. I felt the complete opposite. I still stop by all the corners to peek to see if John Smith is there lurking around the newsroom.
Palomar made it clear: Smith’s behavioral needs took precedence over my safety. That is unacceptable.
Unfortunately, not only as a woman but as a person, it is difficult to report things because you may feel as if you are being overdramatic and you are just reading into it. Palomar College and its campus police must do better. Start by validating victims. Start by prioritizing student safety over PR. And most importantly, start by creating real policies that protect students before trauma happens — not just after.