In a curated kitchen, a woman with a radiant smile, bold red lipstick, and neatly pinned locks shows the captivated audience how to effortlessly prepare dinner for their husbands, all while holding a child on her hip. A few scrolls down the feed, another well-manicured housewife is seen tidying up a pristinely styled home in preparation for her husband’s return from work. 

They seem like a blast from a bygone era on a tiny digital screen — trad wives.

Traditional wives, also known as “trad wives,” are women who embrace traditional gender roles, such as being the homemaker, stay-at-home mother, and the perfect wife.

These women offer glimpses of what they consider to be a wonderful and simple life on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok. Their content often features styled homes, home-cooked meals, and scenes of childcare and cleaning, all curated to portray domestic bliss.

Many feminists view trad wife content as controversial, arguing it undermines progress made in gender equality, particularly within marriage.

Others, however, see it as a matter of personal choice.

“As slavish as it may sound to some people, I think that it’s all something that somebody needs to do at one point or another in the house,” self-identified trad wife Melissa Alvarez said. “And I think that it takes a lot for somebody to say, ‘Yeah. I’ll sign up to this lifestyle because it’s needed for my family.’ So, I like to think of it that way.”

Alvarez is a stay-at-home mom with a 2-year-old and another baby due in May. Her husband works as a painter for 3D-printed parts. Before becoming a trad wife, Alvarez worked for three years as a medical assistant in pediatrics and later as an after-school teacher. Ultimately, she believed staying home was best for her family and emphasized that it was 100% her choice.

“I found the right person, and I saw that, you know, it’s not wrong to rely on somebody else’s income if it’s good enough to maintain me,” Alvarez said.

Old Ideals, New Platforms

While the trad wife lifestyle isn’t new, it has gained visibility and popularity in recent years, especially amid a politically charged cultural climate.

The movement includes women who feel disillusioned with liberal feminism. This sentiment gained traction in 2016 after Donald Trump won his first presidential election, according to an analysis published by Malmö University on the trad wife phenomenon.

Professor Catherine Christensen Gwin, who teaches women’s history at Palomar College, believes the rise of trad wives is inseparable from today’s political landscape.

“I mean, I think it would be naive to say that the popularity of that movement doesn’t in some way intersect with what’s happening today,” Gwin said.

Social media has provided a wide-reaching platform for trad wives to connect with others and display their lives as devoted mothers and wives. But the curated nature of this content has raised concerns among feminists and experts.

Devon Smith, a sociology professor at Palomar, is one of these experts.

“I think what’s problematic and concerning about the trad wife trend is, first of all, they’re selling a version of something that is not accurate, right, which is all over social media,” Smith said. “This over-glamorized, sanitized version of what their day-to-day life is.”

Smith noted that trad wife content often romanticizes the 1950s, a decade associated with limited rights and rigid expectations for women. The 1950s saw the rise of the nuclear family, where women were expected to marry young, have children, and prioritize home life, according to PBS.

During this time, most women were married by 19 and pregnant within seven months of their wedding. Marriage rates surged and the number of families with three children doubled from 1940 to 1960, according to PBS. Access to contraception was limited, and sex was viewed as vital to a successful marriage.

Legal restrictions further limited women’s autonomy. In many states, married women could not get a credit card without their husband’s permission. In some states, women were required to adopt their husband’s surname or risk losing their driver’s license. Women also had no legal claim to their husbands’ income or assets.

The Illusion of Simplicity

Many trad wives adopt a 1950s-inspired aesthetic, wearing vintage dresses and showcasing flawless makeup and hairstyles. Their social media content often reinforces values from that era, with an emphasis on homemaking, caregiving, and male breadwinners.

Trad wife Stacey Knight shares videos of herself on TikTok preparing meals from scratch for her husband and children. Another creator, Estee Williams, posts videos of herself getting dressed up for her husband.

Some trad wives offer advice to young women on how to be the “perfect” wife and mother. They suggest dressing feminine and modest, mastering cooking and baking skills, and being submissive to their husbands.

History professor Catherine Christensen Gwin cautioned that this curated content may be more fantasy than reality.

“Anybody who’s a mother knows that time is the ultimate currency of motherhood. And so, if you’re able to do that, I’m assuming there’s a lot of people actually helping you, or you just have endless resources,” Gwin said.

While some feminists may not see this lifestyle as desirable, there are various reasons why other women may find appeal in the trad wife aesthetic.

“Our society feels so unstable and so fractured, there’s so much going on in people’s daily lives that is so oppressive and so concerning and so stressful … so many people are feeling vulnerable and displaced right now,” sociology professor Devon Smith said.

Smith believes people can be easily drawn to movements such as the trad wife trend, especially during times of fear, desperation, or loneliness.

In 2023, women employed full-time only earned 83% of what men earned, according to a study by the American Association of University Women.
The same study found that mothers earn 28% less over their lifetime compared to women without children. Childcare responsibilities and the high cost of childcare contributed to 79% of women leaving the workforce in 2021.

For some, the challenges of balancing work and family life make staying home — and relying on a spouse — more appealing. Still, critics argue that trad wife content subtly reinforces gender roles that can shape how viewers understand relationships and success.

In her research at Malmö University, Sabrina Simpson analyzed the impact of traditional wives, stating, “this influence could lead them to adopt ideologies that regress the political, social, and economic strides made by feminism.”

However, trad wife Melissa Alvarez sees trad wife content as a source of inspiration.

“It motivates me as a stay-at-home mom to fix things differently or clean things differently or cook stuff,” Alvarez said. “I feel like it does motivate me a little bit more.”

Logged Out of Expectations

Blanca Castellanos, mother of three, first got pregnant at 17. Pressured by her husband’s traditional family, she embraced the role of stay-at-home mom and wife.

Castellanos spent her days at home cleaning, changing diapers, and caring for her children. She said she began to feel like a robot.

“I felt like I was losing myself,” Castellanos said.

Things improved for her when she took a job at Best Buy and quickly climbed the corporate ladder.

“And that’s when I realized I could also be an independent woman. You know? I don’t have to just be attached to ‘you’re a mom and wife,’” Castellanos said.

Now, at 26, she works as a sales consultant at Best Buy and is studying human development with plans to transfer to California State University San Marcos. Her goal is to earn a master’s degree in social work and support vulnerable youth, especially those in the Hispanic community whose experiences mirror her own.

The Danger of Independence

Researchers studying the trad wife movement have raised concerns about how traditional gender roles can fuel dependency — and, in some cases, toxic dynamics.

“Some trad wives and trad culture walk a dangerous tightrope in advocating for a wife to be submissive, downplaying and sometimes even completely ignoring centuries of patriarchal oppressive structures that have condoned, facilitated and contributed to violence against women,” criminology lecturer Laura Jane Bower wrote in her research on the trad wife movement.

There is a worry that if trad wives become dependent on their husbands, it can result in toxic codependency. Sociology professor Devon Smith expresses how that dependency can turn dangerous if a husband exhibits abusive behavior.

“They’re more likely to stay because they don’t have a career,” Smith said.

Following the no-fault divorce laws in the 70s and 80s, U.S. divorce rates rose sharply. A 2018 study on gender norms in marriage found that traditional gender roles are associated with higher divorce rates.

“There’s women that are embracing the trad life roles as a kind of critique of American consumer capitalism,” Catherine Christensen Gwin said. “That’s really important because that brings up other issues of recognizing what women’s work looks like in the home and calling for changes in policies.”